December 2009
I FEEL.
very. sick. ugh. i’m missing everything.
BWAHAHAHAHAA.
i make cookies. BWAHAHAHAHA. they are delicious. BWAHAHAHAHA. i know you want cookies. BWAHAHAHAHA. you cannot have any. BWAHAHAHAHA. they are my cookies. BWAHAHAHAHA. COOOKKKKIIIEEEESSSSSSSSSS <3 i wish i had more cookies. gene: LOL I WANNA SEE FAT IRIS! i should have told him to imagine a great big bubble with my face on it and it’ll go… WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! i had too...
VIDEO GAMES. :]
I like video games.
Standing without a Purpose.
All you people out there, stand and watch me as I pretend that I do not freakishly tremble in the greatest fear.
I stand before you today as a person opening up and completely and utterly and hoplessly vulnerable.
I stand before you today so that I may impress the public and suppress my unending uneasiness of panic and terror.
I stand before all of you today hopelessly alone. Your eyes, your...
stuff.
eyeshadow. mascara. lipgloss. chapstick. necklaces.
I THINK THERE'S REALLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME.
FUCK.
fuck.
fuck !
fuck !!
FUCK !!
FUCK !!!
FUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK !!!
The Truth. Might destroy Me.
I’m so afraid to admit it,
yet I know it so deep in my black heart.
My insides scream the truth so loudly
and fiercely,
yet no one outside of my skin can hear.
I gaze blankly at the horizon
while I bleed
on the inside.
Each cut and bruise I get becomes more and more excruciating.
My expression gives away nothing
while my brain screams furiously,
“THIS IS THE TRUTH!
HERE IS...
sigh.
college.
I THINK I FELL IN LOVE WITH THE EIGHTH WORLD...
I don’t hate you anymore. I’m glad that this is how it is. Here I will always stand.